Thursday, July 9, 2009

South Korea vs USA: Cholesterol Showdown

Fast food was invented in America. The good ol US of A was ground zero for the global obesity craze. We were chunky before it was cool. The only problem is that America has the habit of becoming the best at something, and then resting on it's laurels. We've gotten lazy, and the rest of the world, especially Asia, is catching up by staying on the cutting edge of artery clogging technology. It seems like every day I see a new gastronomical monstrosity coming out of South Korea. Not only are they making breakthroughs in carboloading, they're also thinking up new, easier ways to eat. By making pizza into a cone form, it eliminates nearly all effort involved with eating, so that you don't burn any of its 2500 calories with constantly picking up and putting down the pizza on your plate. The South Korean fried food on a stick is lightyears ahead of our corndogs, and… well... just see for yourself.

Here's the pizza cone, strangely beautiful isn't it? And its all the rage in South Korea. This is the website, it's in korean, but as we all know grease transcends language... or at least it makes the language barrier all soggy and transparent.

Apparently South Korea is so far ahead of us in pizza innovation, that Korean Pizza Huts couldn't make enough money selling boring American pizza.
"Quick Murry, throw some shrimp on that shit, maybe they'll eat it then, or maybe bake a hotdog in, that sounds like something a Korean might like right?"

Whole Shrimp Cheese Bite

The Royal Crust Pizza

Triple Cheese Pizza
From Domino's, Three thin crust pizzas stacked with cheese between each layer

Shrimp Nude
From Mr. Pizza in Korea, its a pizza shaped like a bowl, so it can hold a puddle of cream cheese mousse

The Col-pop

I hate it when I'm eating chicken nuggets and I have to pick it up and put it in my mouth. THERE HAS TO BE A BETTER WAY, HELP ME SOUTH KOREA

This Korean fast food joint is bent on world domination, you'll be able to get one of these convenient bad boys in the US pretty soon

Korean Obesity on a Stick

Those are nice tries South Korea, the introduction of fried bacon covered in french fries on a stick almost won you the game, but our obesity MVP Jimmy Dean came though for us by creating this blasphemy

P.S. South Korea? You still there? Suck on this, USA USA USA

1 comment:

  1. Thanks so much for the laughs. Just when I started to get depressed by thoughts of those "skinny" koreans, I came across your blog.

    If the Koreans continue to eat like this, they will no longer be the skinniest nation in the world but give the good ol' USA a run for the title of most obese nation.